I want a dog.
I do not care if it is obnoxious, stinky, loud, or homicidal.
I want a dog.
I have been locked in this apartment in this desolate hell of these southern states for far too long. Perhaps if I was to acquire a dog I would not feel trapped as if in an ivory tower.
Perhaps if there was a dog in my life I would stop referring to the apartment complex as "The Compound".
Perhaps if I had a dog my lifestyle would become stable and not this nightmarish scenario of unemployment and uncertainty.
Then again, maybe not.
But I won't know until there is a dog in my life.
I know for certain that my ceaseless bitching will not stop until there is a dog.
So let's just make this easier for everyone involved (JASON) and let me have the damn dog.

(picnic, lightning)